She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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