What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
