chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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