it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Tornado booty call.. dedication
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
