Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
