Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
