I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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