if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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