How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize