Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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