my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize