So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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