I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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