So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
