I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
