I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
