Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
