Got a toothbrush?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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