I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
