Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
