i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
