This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
