Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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