I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
