Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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