Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
