I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
