i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize