when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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