I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
