I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
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