I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
