No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
