there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize