Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize