WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
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