If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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