Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
