Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
