are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
