a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize