you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
