the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
