The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
