I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
