Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
