Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize