you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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