You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
