FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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