I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
