did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
