your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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