Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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