when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
