Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
