did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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