"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize