So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
