awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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